07 June 2016

A Military Wife...

I am sharing... a post written by my daughter-in-law, Cherie Henriques. It is a wonderful, heartfelt perspective on life as a military wife. As a mother, I feel especially blessed to have Cherie by my son's side. We are both feeling an extra tug on our heart today as my son leaves for an overseas assignment. We are all praying for his safe return and are proud of him and the commitment he and his fellow officers have made to protect and serve. God Bless each and every one.





Being a Military wife...
by Cherie Henriques

Being a military wife or spouse certainly isn't easy, it's hard and complicated but it's the life we live every day. Believe it or not, when we say we're taking one day at a time it's usually the truth, because you never really know what might be around the corner when you're on military time.

From the outside, people peer in through the window an make their own comparisons and assumptions about the lifestyle. But the truth is, like any single relationship, all have their own circumstances and challenges. Being in a military marriage is a unique tale unto its own and unless you're the one reading the book, you have no idea what the story's about.

Throughout chapters in your military incorporated relationship, you discover several plot twists, blank pages and have more than a few light bulb moments when you realize, *yep, I'm committed to finishing the whole book* and at the end of the day, you don't really know how long this novel lasts, you just know you'll read it till the end.


It's hard because...

You've got to hold it together when your service member leaves for work for months on end or more and never get to talk to them.

You've got to be okay with moving half way around the world from your family.

You've got to be okay with your service member missing all the special occasions like birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and possibly the birth of your child.

You've got to be okay with putting your career on the back burner because moving all over the place and maintaining a career isn't as easy as it looks.

You've got to be okay with everyone throwing in their five cents, telling you how you should feel, what you should do and making assumptions on what life as a military wife is like.

You've got to be okay with letting go some of the control in your life because you're on military time now so be prepared to cancel dates, trips and any other plans you may have made together.

You've got to be okay with always coming home to an empty house, to talking to yourself and lying alone at night.

You've got to be okay with leaving close friends and family behind while you start a new life over and over.

You've got to be okay with parenting alone and accepting that's what life is.

You've got to be okay having meltdowns when you need to in order to get by and not go mental.

You've got to be okay with making new friends over and over and over again.

You've got to be okay with it being a thankless job to wait around and look after your life together while your husband's away.

You've got to be okay with spending as much of your marriage apart as you do together.

You've got to be okay with talking about death, dying, and the traumatic effects of the job or what "could" happen.

You've got to be okay with finding the positive in the midst of some really challenging circumstances.

And you do alllll of this...

Because you love your husband very much.

Because you are strong, resilient and tougher than you ever give yourself credit for.

Because despite people telling you that "YOU" chose this, you didn't, you chose to love the man of the job.

Because you love a challenge and a change of pace.

Because who doesn't enjoy getting fancied up in her best ball gown and going to a black tie dinner or ball.

Because you love sending and receiving the love letters and the surprise parcels.

Because you love the romantic reunions on the arrival home.

Because everyone loves a man in uniform.

Because you love seeing your husband happy, this is what he's always wanted to do and standing beside him while he does it is a proud moment.

Because amongst the moving all the time, you DO make some amazing friends along the way and get to see the countryside.

Because being a military spouse provides you with a new appreciation of love and your significant other.

Because every day that your husband puts his combat boots on, you put on your own version, because you know you have to be his rock just as much as he is yours.

Because you love the fact that in spite of all the hardships your relationship faces, this is just what you are both prepared to do for you love.


Because regardless of allllllll of these things, your love trumps all of it! You commit from the very beginning that a relationship is work, a relationship in the military is A LOT of work, there's no doubt about it, but you committed to work as two individuals who can work as a unit to conquer all...

and you do.



~Cherie Henriques~

28 comments:

  1. Jeanne, so glad you posted this. In the U.S. so few of us even know a military family that it is easy to forget the sacrifice that the entire family makes to protect freedom for the rest of us. I feel very special to know one wonderful military wife who keeps me updated on her life, but we all need to be more aware. You DIL sounds like a very special young woman and i wish she were closer so that you two could spend more time together - especially during your son's deployment. Thanks for reminding us of what's really important. (And, good luck to your son and your family.)

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    1. Thank you Webb and yes, my DIL is a very special person. Wishing that we all did not have so many miles between us but that seems to be the way of life in both the military and in expat life. We appreciate your well wishes very much. xx

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  2. Beautifully written Cherie ... but somehow I'm not at all surprised that Jeanne's son chose to create his life with an eloquent, sensitive and lovely woman like you. You were just pieces of a puzzle waiting to fit right in together.
    Thank you Jeanne for letting us have a little peek inside your very special family, hope you are keeping well
    love to you
    Sharon
    xx

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    1. Thank you Sharon and I know Cherie thanks you as well. I have thought the very same about Cherie since the first time I met her. Lucky MIL. ;) xx

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  3. Prayers. A beautiful post that covers it all. Thank you Cherie and Jeanne

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    1. Thank you May...so very much appreciated. :) xx

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  4. Beautiful post...beautifully written by your DIL! It gives me a different perspective on military life...thank you for that. Wishing your son and DIL many blessings! ;)

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  5. Jeanne, I've been reading your lovely posts for a long time without ever leaving a comment...
    Great post - Military wives are special and unique. - I was a military wife for 28 years - from Vietnam - Iraq. It was hard at times, but we did it - together - as a family. - Since we've retired, we enjoy and appreciate life to the fullest.
    Wishing your son and daughter-in-law a wonderful and rewarding time - Life is good, stay positive and enjoy every single day...
    Rose from FL

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    1. Thank you so much Rose, it is very encouraging to read and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. So nice to meet you! :)

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  6. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL............I especially liked the part of people telling her how she should DEAL or FEEL!!!Honest to GOD what has happened to human COMPASSION in this generation!!!History tends to REPEAT itself........lets get back to BASIC's!
    THANK YOU CHERIE.............HE will do a MAGNIFICENT JOB and WE will ALL be SO PROUD of YOUR GUY!If YOU Need some reassurance tell this MOM you need to take OVER the BLOG once in awhile......I am certain WE the READERS HERE will give YOU some added STRENGTH.I know I will..............XX

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    1. You are a sweetheart Elizabeth, Cherie is very touched by all your comments. I am with you…we are so very proud, he is in our hearts, thoughts and prayers every minute of the day…always. Thank you for your very kinds words..xx

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  7. How very beautiful and well said. A military wife has to be one of the hardest things to be in the world.

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  8. Thank you Jeanne for posting Cherie's letter.Basically a pacifist at heart, I deeply appreciate the folks who serve our military across the globe. Her words are eloquently written expressing the deep heart centered woman that she is. How fortunate your son is to be loved by her, and you are one most fortunate MIL. The beauty and love of your family keeps growing and expanding. Beautiful lives, peaceful, loving people.
    Kristin

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    1. Kristin, you are so very thoughtful, thank you. I agree wholeheartedly, I am a very fortunate MIL. So glad they found each other. :)

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  9. Thank you for posting Cherie's post here. I was very glad to read it, as I do not know, and never have known, a spouse of an active-duty member of the military. For me, what Cherie describes would be an all-encompassing, very serious challenge, and I admire her for taking it on. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had fallen in love with a career military member. Both she and your son have my best wishes, Leslie in Oregon

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    1. Thank you Leslie, we appreciate your thoughts and comments, as always. :)

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  10. A different life full of sacrifices.And yes love triumphs and trumps everything else.
    Thank you Cherie for your insight.

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    1. Thank you for commenting Edgar, Cherie is reading from the sidelines and appreciates your thoughts, as do I. :)

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  11. "Because you love your husband very much." That is exactly what a mother prays for her son. This is such a lovely post!

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    1. Agree Kathy, I love witnessing their love. A blessing for a mother. So glad you enjoyed her post as much as I have. :)

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  12. My husband and I are apart for long periods of time because of MY work choices. As such I relate to SO much of this wonderful post even though our reasons for being separated are slightly different.

    For a long time I have struggled with how to respond when someone asks why "I make him do this"/"Put him through this"/"Don't choose being with him 100% of the time over my career". Finally, thanks to you Cherie, I have the words "Because he loves seeing me happy, this is what I've always wanted to do and for him standing beside me while I do it is a proud moment." This is a life changing post for me! THANK YOU CHERIE for putting in to words what I never could.

    God bless you both and keep you safe. As fellow Aussie's who come from military families - and who are very glad of our American alliance!! - my husband and I thank you both for your Service and sacrifice. xx

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    1. Wonderful words Shaz, thank you for sharing. I understand completely having been there for many years. We can all count ourselves very fortunate to be in relationships with supporting partners, on both sides of the relationship. Thank you for commenting, so very much appreciated. :)

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  13. Big hugs to your daughter-in-law. I know of many families whose members work in the Army. It is tough but it gives them immense pride and joy to see that their member is serving the nation.

    Hope you have been well and happy, dear Jeanne.

    Lots of love from this part of the world.

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    1. So wonderful to see you again at Collage of Life Susan Deborah, thank you for sharing your thoughts, always appreciated. I hope you are well on your side of the world! ;)

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  14. Having a husband who travels 50% of the time in service to others, I can identify with many of the things Cherie has so beautifully articulated. Thank you for sharing it with us Jeanne. My nephew is in the Marines and his wife serves in the Reserves as a nurse so I am aware of the upheaval and sacrifice a military life encompasses. When my husband's schedule occasionally overwhelms me, I remind myself it could be even more difficult...if he were in the military. I have great respect to the spouses of those in Service who keep the homefires burning...it is no small thing and their strength is genuinely an inspiration to me.

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  15. What a lovely daughter in law you have Jeanne. Do I spot a bit of his mother in her? This was beautifully written from the heart. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Can I just say....that I so enjoy what YOU have to say. Just a few words or a few paragraphs, no matter. If you would like to write to me directly, I would love to hear from you... jeannecollageoflife@gmail.com

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